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My Uncle's Wise-Arse Comments
Well, most of my immediate family knows I run wotmania. But none of them have read WoT, and I really don't think they ever will. But naturally that doesn't stop them from visiting the site from time to time, just to look around. The best example is my Uncle Jeff. Right now he's doing some type of sales for a company that distributes natural gas to businesses... Or something. He was complaining I hadn't updated this page in a long time, but that should stop now - as it's now tied to a backend database and his funniest stuff will be appearing all the time now. He's the old guy in the picture at right, taken about three years ago when I was just finishing my undergrad degree...
Almost every day he stops by wotmania to make some comments regarding the QuickPoll or random quotes that appear on the site. Below are some of his most entertaining comments. I suppose without knowing him, some might not be that funny. But these e-mails always give me a good laugh. And I cannot stress this enough - he knows NOTHING about WoT! Who knows the least about women? Does 'Daughter of the Nine Moons' mean anything to you? Dance with her, and she will forgive much; dance well, and she will forgive anything. How many more books (not counting Winter's Heart) will it take to finish WoT? Will any of the 'good guys' ever be turned to the Dark One by a circle of Myrddraal and Dreadlords? Some oaths are more important than others. Do you have any idea how long it takes to dig graves for twenty-three oak trees? Order The Hunt Begins and New Threads in the Pattern Order Knife of Dreams Will Siuan and Gareth Bryne get married in Winter's Heart? Will Rand die in Knife of Dreams? The Creator made women to please the eye and trouble the mind. After AMoL I will... I'm only an old gleeman. Who could I possibly be dangerous to? Will Lan raise the Golden Crane banner in Winter's Heart? Madness waits for some. It creeps up on others. Jordan on Book 12 One pretty woman means fun at the dance. Two pretty women mean trouble in the house. Three pretty women mean run for the hills. Who should have trained Aviendha to wield the One Power? Did you know Faile is only 15 years old? The source of Mat's luck: Often you don't know whether a woman is friend, enemy, or lover until it is too late. Sometimes, she is all three. What condition are your WoT books in? Dance well with a woman and she's halfways yours.
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